What is your own inner Fool saying?
Posted on Apr 2nd, 2008
by 
tinkonthebrink
tinkonthebrink
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for April 01, 2008:
Well.
Alright, a little over a week ago I did something dreadful and funky to my left knee. This has led me to find that my insurance doesn't cover an MRI and that my copayments are nonsensical given what I get paid. I mean, what I would be paid if I were working, which I'm not. (But I do still have to pay the insurance premiums, out of pocket. For the crappy insurance which won't do anything useful for me.)
So.
What my inner fool is saying is, chuck the job, chuck the insurance, this is like a gigantic sign hitting you over the head, are you blind? Well, your insurance probably doesn't cover that either, so move on...
I'm half-listening and the rational part of me is of course resisting, but I'm starting to succumb.
So I'm curious. Is anyone reading this uninsured, and has that been a problem? I have not had any interactions with the conventional medical system that affected the outcome of a problem one tiny bit in years. I had a couple of fractures for which I paid hundreds and hundreds of dollars in copays for my doc to tell me not to use the affected part until it healed. He took lots of xrays. He sent me to the worst PT person ever, and I only went once, and I'm entirely fine. I had the flu and paid 50 bucks for a drug that was supposed to shorten the duration of the flu but it turns out it doesn't do all that much - maybe a day or two less, maybe not. That's been about it. I pay about $90/month to have insurance so that I can go to someone who will do nothing at all and if they ever need to do anything at all my insurance won't pay, at least not until I pay my nearly 2k deductible for the year. This all seems surreal and insane. But this is exactly the nature of the insurance mafia.
I think conventional western medicine is reasonably good at fixing things that are broken, and not much good at anything else. It's nice to have the cushion in case something does get broken, but realistically, I'm sorry to put it this way, but they're required to treat an emergency even if you can't pay. And I don't think there's anything else I want, really. So....inner fool is whispering loudly.
This would mean being untied from my job, which I like but cannot do right now - I've engineered a great situation where I get paid to go hiking with clients and right now I'm having difficulty even driving our truck, which has a fairly stiff clutch (left knee issue), let alone hiking. Logic says, oh, this is not a good time to be looking for a job. Economy sucks, and my body is not working quite right. Fool says, well, now's the time anyway.
I am largely bored with my job at this point, in spite of affection for my clients and their families, in spite of the fact that I do a good job and I love those pats on the head. I get paid decently, better than most in this field. And I have no idea what I would be jumping to if I jumped. But I use way too much gas just to take one person at a time out in the community, sometimes driving to places 25 miles away, then for an outing, then home, for just one person and me. Ridiculous really. My inner fool has been nudging me for a while about these bits.
So now she's getting louder and more persistent and I guess we'll figure out something together. Good grief, she's chatty, isn't she?
Alright, a little over a week ago I did something dreadful and funky to my left knee. This has led me to find that my insurance doesn't cover an MRI and that my copayments are nonsensical given what I get paid. I mean, what I would be paid if I were working, which I'm not. (But I do still have to pay the insurance premiums, out of pocket. For the crappy insurance which won't do anything useful for me.)
So.
What my inner fool is saying is, chuck the job, chuck the insurance, this is like a gigantic sign hitting you over the head, are you blind? Well, your insurance probably doesn't cover that either, so move on...
I'm half-listening and the rational part of me is of course resisting, but I'm starting to succumb.
So I'm curious. Is anyone reading this uninsured, and has that been a problem? I have not had any interactions with the conventional medical system that affected the outcome of a problem one tiny bit in years. I had a couple of fractures for which I paid hundreds and hundreds of dollars in copays for my doc to tell me not to use the affected part until it healed. He took lots of xrays. He sent me to the worst PT person ever, and I only went once, and I'm entirely fine. I had the flu and paid 50 bucks for a drug that was supposed to shorten the duration of the flu but it turns out it doesn't do all that much - maybe a day or two less, maybe not. That's been about it. I pay about $90/month to have insurance so that I can go to someone who will do nothing at all and if they ever need to do anything at all my insurance won't pay, at least not until I pay my nearly 2k deductible for the year. This all seems surreal and insane. But this is exactly the nature of the insurance mafia.
I think conventional western medicine is reasonably good at fixing things that are broken, and not much good at anything else. It's nice to have the cushion in case something does get broken, but realistically, I'm sorry to put it this way, but they're required to treat an emergency even if you can't pay. And I don't think there's anything else I want, really. So....inner fool is whispering loudly.
This would mean being untied from my job, which I like but cannot do right now - I've engineered a great situation where I get paid to go hiking with clients and right now I'm having difficulty even driving our truck, which has a fairly stiff clutch (left knee issue), let alone hiking. Logic says, oh, this is not a good time to be looking for a job. Economy sucks, and my body is not working quite right. Fool says, well, now's the time anyway.
I am largely bored with my job at this point, in spite of affection for my clients and their families, in spite of the fact that I do a good job and I love those pats on the head. I get paid decently, better than most in this field. And I have no idea what I would be jumping to if I jumped. But I use way too much gas just to take one person at a time out in the community, sometimes driving to places 25 miles away, then for an outing, then home, for just one person and me. Ridiculous really. My inner fool has been nudging me for a while about these bits.
So now she's getting louder and more persistent and I guess we'll figure out something together. Good grief, she's chatty, isn't she?
Access: PublicTagged with: QaR, foolishness, openness, experience, wonder, trust, work, jobs, health care, insurance.
experience
September 2008 
You just chat away jeannie…fab stuff…I'm a Brit so we got an NHS so we don't have to do the health insurance thing for survival and i do not…perhaps unwisely…..I felt a twinge when you spoke of getting a pat on the head…long time now..9 yrs..since i worked for anybody and as I read this i thought I might like a pat on the head from some fatherly boss….
Hiking with the client and getting paid for it…I once wangled one ten pin bowling evening a week with clients on shift pay and a beer courtesy of the NHS..these are definitely the things to give up….
Thanx for this j…Jon xx
I have experienced the same thing you have and now my insurance is a passport and days drive to Mexico. I had a friend who had Ovarian Cancer early stage she had a full hysterectomy in Mexico and all pre-op biopsies and post care for a womping $5000. which she put on her credit card when done. She said the care was beyond best. Keep us posted!
When I lived in San Diego I had all my dental work done in TJ and it was always fine. Once I had a root canal and had to wander through these residential parts of the city looking for a tiny office run by a man who taught at the dental school there, and I got lost and ended up on a street with a bunch of brothels and guys outside offering services even at noon which was kind of funny and entertaining. But I live too far to get to Mexico easily now.
What I've noticed though is that only a couple of times in my life has going to a physician changed the outcome at all. Most problems are self-resolving and I think insurance companies and the whole medical industry are kind of evil. Not the people who work in the medical field, but the way it's all set up. Still tossing it around, but I think I might just rather opt out. It would certainly free up a lot of choices for work.
Insurance is a RACKET. I do indeed have it and I'm very glad of it after last year and the eye infection and corneal transplant and all that– but still —- hmmmm. Why can't we study the way Canada and the UK and so many, many European counties do the whole health care system and get something better going on here?
I think that I'd be way ahead finacially, even with the eye surgeries last year, if I had put all those insurance premiums into a savings account (including the sky high ones my job pays for me) from the beginning and just paid for all our medical care out of that account. Really. And what you say is true, about the outcome seldom being different. Western medicine does acute care well– I'd rather go to the E.R. if I had been in a severe accident, but I'd rather just take good care of myself and don't worry be happy and do some yoga and rest when I'm just sick.
and I love that fool card, it's just gorgeous.
I guess it's hard for me to weigh in on something like this since I've always had pretty good insurance and currently am incredibly blessed to have an amazing package at Harvard. It's one reason why I'll probably try to work there part-time for the rest of my life. Amazing, amazing insurance. But even from the cat-bird seat, I'd still caution anyone thinking of giving up insurance. Yeah, it sucks for the minor things and maybe you might consider turning to alternative methods for that. But, Universe forbid, one day it might not be minor, and even though you have a large deductible, major illnesses destroy families without insurance. Also, one of the reasons there are things like high deductibles, etc. is because the insured pay for the uninsured, the folks who just use emergency rooms. I think you know a little about my past and know I'd be the last person to say, don't quit your job just cuz you're unhappy. On that score, I'd say go find your bliss!!!! But when you do, buy the insurance : )
What about cobbling a few things together? Like a part-time job that provides you insurance and then one or two other things that feed your soul … have you ever thought about writing as a career? Check out dooce.com – she's supporting her family through that blog now … you gotta gift girl …
Dawn, I'm right there with you. I feel the same way that I would if I called 911 because my house was on fire and the dispatcher said, “Well, let's see, you haven't used any of your two thousand dollar deductible yet this year, so do you have a credit card you'll be using for that?”.
I can't comprehend health care being as exclusive as it is.
And Lil? Our deductibles and copays don't pay for the uninsured. They aren't even intended to make a significant dent in our own costs to the insurance company. They're in place to discourage access to health care, the rationale being that people won't “frivolously” decide to seek treatment - because in the eyes of the insurance racketeers, consumers of health care services are the enemy, in spite of the evidence from countries where there is universal care that abolutely shows there isn't any jump in the use of health care, but instead, that there's a better use of the system compared to the US.
I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet, but I almost fell over at your suggestion that I could write for a living - that's very flattering, especially since I've always thought I was a much better editor than writer. So thank you.
This is actually my first experience in writing out loud. I've always been a closet writer, but I never put words out for other people to read until here.
I talk though. Always been a talker…
I've been without health insurance for 5 years. When my income was low I went to the low-cost-sliding-scale-fee clinics/services for my prescriptions and counseling, and now that I'm making a reasonable amount of money I go the the normal-priced doctor I like and just pay the bill myself. I checked into insurance recently and found out I gotta pay more because I've used mental health services in the past, and even though I would pay this extra amount, they wouldn't cover me if I ever had to get mental health services again, and so to bring the monthly premium to a price that seemed reasonable, I had to choose a $5000 deductible, plus the insurance hardly covered anything. In my gut it felt like the only reason I'd take the insurance was fear, and so I said, hey, no thanks, it's not for me. I realized I have an instinct that says that if life/Universe/God wants me to live and be healthy, I will be provided for, somehow.
I guess each person has to decide on insurance for themselves, based on their gut instincts, and not let the fear factor do the deciding. It's sure a tricky question!
Oh Regina, there is no way I could afford insurance without a group plan at work. It would be a crazy amount of money. And it is, one hundred percent, about the fear factor for me. Thanks for your perspective on this.
I don't think we have a sliding scale low cost kind of clinic here. In fact, do you know that doctors and hospitals discount services to meet what the insurance companies are willing to pay - so in effect, they charge you more to pay out of pocket, sometimes as much as double what they insurance companies would pay? I really truly think this is an evil system!
Write out loud MORE! and I'll second the notion that you could do it for a living.
I know some docs and chiropractors who charge LESS if you don't have insurance, but not all of them. Charging more for non insured? That's just adding insult to injury. GRRR.
That's the standard practice. If you look on your statement for services, you'll see the cost of the service and then the amount that is billed to your insurance company - usually about half. It's all pretend numbers I think, because if uninsured patients can't pay, the write-off is for that inflated amount.
This is all driving me a little crazy because at the moment it's so personal. I cannot afford to pay for an MRI out of pocket, and if I did, the only reason would be to set myself up for surgery which I also can't afford and don't really want to consider. But meanwhile, my left knee doesn't work right at all, which is freaking me out. So I'm basically just pissed off at this particular experience, always a useful perspective, right? Hmmm.
Ummm. there might be a non surgical way to heal the knee, depending on what's really going on in there. bear in mind I am not in any way qualified to dispense medical advice – but Bikram says that his series of yoga postures practiced in a hot room with a certified teacher can heal knees better than anything else he knows. I do not agree with every single word Bikram utters, but I do agree with him on this point. I have worked with lots of other students and teachers who go on and on about how much good a regular Bikram yoga practice has done for their knees, among many, many other body parts and demeanors and etc…..
It might be worth a try, but only you know. Respect your knees, listen to them. nuture them……
and also, trust that the money WILL come from somewhere if you really need it Let the worry part go if you can. It will at least take some stress out of your body and stress makes healing more difficult.
Hope this helps a teensy weensy bit.
-d
I'll just add it was easy to write what I wrote because I'm not in the middle of a health issue right now. I know that's a tough spot to be in, and I'm with you there in spirit. Two things occurred to me as I read your comment. One is are you sure about there not being sliding scale fee clinics? It may be that is true, but the act of calling around and asking different places about possible options or solutions could lead you to someone who can help out in whatever form that may be. The second thing that came to mind was a chiropractor–they can help with body stuff other than just the spine alignment.
I'm thinking of you…
Thanks Regina - yeah, I know that some offices will negotiate with you but haven't really explored that yet. When Adrian was born the doctor fee was paid off in music since babydaddy was managing a record store at the time, so I know it's possible. This is a tough spot to be in but I know it will turn out okay, one way or another. I'm a little iffy about chiropractors - had a fabulous one in california, worked for a horrendous one here briefly, and I would have to know they weren't the awful kind before I'd even consider it. And for some reason, they don't tell you that up front (“Hi, I'm not going to do anything useful but I'd like to take as much of your money as possible and by the way, did I mention these nutritional supplements I also sell?”)
Dawn, that does totally help and I'm looking up Bikram studios here. Now if I could figure out how that letting-go-of-stress business works I'd be set!
When Julia recently lived for a year in England she used their NHS on two occasions and had nothing but positives to report. If she had been treated here for the same problems I would still be paying off the deductibles and short-pays. My co-worker Mike also had to use the UK's system for a rather bad infection while we were both in London. After his treatment he offered to pay with a credit card and was told by the office admin that they had no way to produce a bill and not to worry. My dear friend Rudy, an underinsured farmer, routinely flies to Mexico for his HIV/AIDS treatments. It's far less expensive for him to travel thousands of miles a year than to drive down the road a bit and use his miserly insurance.
The idea that a co-pay limits frivolous doctor visits was never anything more than stillborn. The reality of it is that, especially for those of us living paycheck to paycheck, initial treatment is often delayed until there is no choice but to seek help; by which time it may be too late, or at least will be far more invasive and expensive.
Yeah Jeannie, something is wrong here. I agree with Dawn - insurance is a racket. We ought to make one.
And I hear you on the job thing. Maybe it's time to move on, but don't hope to find much in the way of better insurance elsewhere. Mine is considered good by current standards, and might be marginally better than yours, but it pales in comparison to what I had in earlier job incarnations. Maybe DLil can get us all jobs at Harvard…;-)
Regardless of the route to betterness, I hope your knee is on the mend, and Krissy's back. Lemme know if you have any heavy lifting to do.
BTW - there is a clinic here in Hendo that charges based on ability to pay. Lemme know if you want the name.
I might want the name of that clinic, although Hendo is an awfully long way to go, but still…
Yeah, for all who don't know what Albert's talking about (I mean in this one instance - I can't be responsible for that in general), about a week before I dismembered my knee Krissy developed a herniated disc, L4-5, and was very miserable especially at first. She's doing somewhat better, and I think our fabulous inversion table is part of the reason for that, but still - she can't carry things but she's good at walking around. I can carry stuff if I can get to it and take it somewhere by sort of hopping and limping, so together we're nearly one functional person, but not quite. It's actually a little entertaining when I'm in a good mood about all of this - we have the oddest discussions about who will do what. Oh, and her office car is an automatic, but the truck I drive has the very stiff clutch, which doesn't work at all right now, but we can't swap cars because hers belongs to the company. Hilarious stuff.
Oh, by the way, can I extoll the virtues of inversion tables for a minute? It's an entirely different function from inverted yoga postures, because you use the pull of gravity on a table to actually put traction on all of your joints, and it's amazing and wonderful and opens your whole body and especially your spine up in a wonderful way. Unfortunately, right now it makes me feel like my leg is coming apart at the knee, but otherwise, it's one of the most fabulous things ever. And you use a kind of rocking motion to contract and expand your spine which is enormously therapeutic, and plus, it's fabulous for doing crunches. Everyone should own one of these things.
God! I'm already drifting into science teacher mode. I read 'inversion table' as some sort of chart to read to figure our where a lake's thermocline might be at some point in time. Sheesh!
And hold on a minute - I thought you'd taken on the job of translating into human what it is I'm talking about. I mean, who else?
gah. sorry to hear about what happened to you. i hope you healed and feel better now.
i just came back from Ireland and i'm floored by what is covered by their universal health care. people there get full treatment rich or poor. the rich just buys more coverage for specialized treatments and so that they could pick their doctors. i wonder why universal health care is not yet implemented here in the U.S. when everyone agrees that health care here is a mess (not to mention that people in the U.S. work more hours than in Europe and has less vacations). most people here are tied with their jobs because of insurance benefits. it's like a double-chain in the neck.
i understand that the health care issue in the U.S. is too complicated – clashing moral and political ideals between free-market and socialism, competing self-interests, big business, etc. in the meantime millions of uninsured in America are gambling with their health. ah well, i've lamented on health care on my blog so i won't rant about it here.
i hope you're feeling better now.
~C
“did I mention these nutritional supplements I also sell?” —- I think I've met that chiropractor— 2 of them actually. Now I have a fabulous chiropractor that I go to only when I'm in pain and he asks me not to come back unless I absolutely MUST. he's THE best.
Jeannie– you MUST take care of your knee. what did the terrible physical therapist say to do? just out of curiosity? I always tell my yoga students to go to the edge of the sharp pain in the asanas and then back off just a bit. you know the difference between pain that is PAY ATTENTION pain and the I'm being wimpy and lazy pain, right? and I know you will PAY ATTENTION to the former short of pain.
I am jealous of your inversion table. I've always wanted one, but no place to put it and I've always wanted tons of other things/not things more. :-)
I'm so angry at our sick care system in this country– it's broken, beyond repair and it's just…. GGRRRRR.
It makes me TOO angry to hear people saying that we need a pure free market, because we don't have one. We've given the corporation better care than the people, and more rights too. GGRRRRR!
How do we change it? What can one do, right now to make it better?
Maybe we can all pitch in and get you a ticket to the UK?
The Terrible Physical Therapist was one of those very, very nice people who don't want to cause you any pain. At all. I don't know how he got into PT as a calling. Just another of many, many experiences where seeking conventional medical care added nothing at all helpful - this was several years ago, I had fractured my shoulder and there's not much to do for that short of needing surgical repair. The pain meds were fabulous though, I do have to say, and I'm not normally a fan.
The inversion table folds flat and would store under a bed or behind a door - although ours stays up and gets used several times a day. A really fun way to play with it is holding small free weights and moving your arms around to make the table swing. You can totally control it and go faster/slower/farther/bounce back and forth - it's great. And then of course, just hanging for awhile until you feel all your joints stretch open and when you're done you feel a little more like a cat, all loosely assembled and long and stretchy. I'm pining for it.
~C4, thanks, and you're so right, it is a double bind to be held to a job in order to continue to have the most frustrating health care possible…I haven't even seen Sicko yet and now I'm a little afraid. Seems like that will be throwing gasoline on the fire, but still, it's moved to the top of my list.
You mentioned above about going to Mexico for dental work. That kind of thing has become an industry. Look here. I assume there's an equivalent for regular medical stuff.
Jeez, I knew I had it good, insurance-wise, but after reading everyone else's posts I'm doubly committed to working at HU for the rest of my life! And Albert, I certainly do wish I could get you all jobs here as it would certainly lighten up the place! Jeannie, I'm so sorry that both you and Chrissy are suffering at the same time – or really that you're suffering at all. When your back or your knee or your neck is messed up, soon everything hurts because everything else in your body starts compensating. It's exhausting and I'm sending you all my healthy wishes through cyberspace. I know you don't want to spend $ on the doc, but don't let it get permanently messed up by ignoring it if you can help it. Take care of yourself.
Lil
serendipitously, FRONTLINE is covering health care tonight ;) check it out.
~C