The economy is in a funk. Everyone in their right mind of course wants to see it get unfunked, but I'm not necessarily in the same kind of right mind that they are. I am terribly sorry for people who have lost jobs, lost homes, lost their 401k (mine is disappearing by the second), but on the other hand, the world itself is just the same. The real resources are still there, the real services are still needed, real work still gets done. Not endless growth, not inflated values of pieces of paper, not jobs that don't quite involve doing real things. Not giving mortgages based on inflated values to people who actually can't afford them, not selling those off without any financial anchor for the loans, not building more and more anthill condos and modular townhomes and planning to sell them for a quarter of a million each, not an ever growing pool of middle management jobs. I heard that two to three thousand malls are predicted to close this year nationwide. That just doesn't make me sad.  What I would whisper, very very quietly so that no one hits me over the head with a brick from one of the houses that isn't being built these days (although those don't use much brick, it takes too much time and skill), is for the economy to hold back long enough that we all have to make an adjustment.  I want to see manicured lawns turned into food gardens and rooftop gardens in cities and people helping each other out and scaling back and using less and giving more. I want to see people learning real life skills and protecting resources and reading books and having more sex because after all, that's (usually) free.  Those abandoned malls would make great schools, or skating rinks, or schools with skating rinks in the middle. I hope we have to become more creative and resilient and useful.  I hope we all have to stop shopping and exchange our used clothing with one another and eat real food made from basic, local things and drive less and walk more and ride our bikes. And I don't think we'll do these things unless we have to, so I'm whispering very very quietly. Oh dear, wait, I guess I've actually said it all out loud.

Every morning this little ball of fluff and sweetness wakes up purring, pats me on the cheek (with claws velveted), and snuggles between my cheek and shoulder while I wake up.  We were just going to foster him since we have so many animals here already, until we met him and now we're in love. I smile every time I look at him. He is completely self-possessed,  and in a houseful of animals he gets along with everyone. He's entirely self-sufficient and independent and entirely affectionate and loving. He makes eye contact and purrs all the time, and looks like he's just about to speak and if he did it would be something really interesting. I woke up with him sitting next to my face staring at me and I had just been dreaming that he was telling me that his name was Max - well, specifically, Maximum Cat. So that's his name.

I've read a couple of responses to this question of the suffering-is-optional school of thought, and I do completely agree that it's optional, but not being as completely enlightened as I would like, it still happens now and then. I think it does for all of us. I can look back and think, why did I bother to suffer, the events were what they were and I could have just skipped adding my suffering to them, but in those moments I didn't have that choice. In that moment I was human and overwhelmed.

I'm not capable of this. Sometimes I wish I were.

I don't remember learning to walk, but I remember learning to ride a bike. At first the idea of getting off balance was confounding and caused all sorts of falling over. Then it became normal and acceptable and part of the process. It's a process of constantly almost falling that's so subtle it becomes imperceptible and there is constant reconciliation and then suddenly I could just go anywhere on two wheels, amazingly balanced amidst the constant imbalance. That's how it works, I think. There is no being balanced, only balancing as we go. And it's much harder to balance if I'm standing still.

I am answering this out of order because it just occurred to me that this is THE question. What should I do next? That's really always the only question.

Is that other sock really gone forever?

This looks amazing but I'm having trouble making the embedded video work so here's the YouTube link instead: